Children at Weddings Etiquette

Well, this post is going up a bit late because I played hooky yesterday and scooted out of town for a BBQ in New Jersey. Sorry (I aint sorry.) It was so nice to spend the perfect summer day outside of the city. I could not get over the fact that I was in an actual HOUSE with a humongous BACKYARD. It was such a dream. You know you've lived in Manhattan for a while when you wander around a house in awe of the space. But seriously, their garage was AT LEAST twice the size of my entire apartment. We roasted marshmallows, laid on the grass, played cornhole, ate all the meats, and truly enjoyed every moment. It was divine! So yeah, no post yesterday for you!

But as my fridge continues to be loaded up with all the Save the Dates for this summer's upcoming weddings, I've been thinking about kids being guests at weddings. It's funny because sometimes I think this stuff is common sense, but you hear so much about people disregarding the couple's wishes so I guess it just needs to be stated. I personally love when kids are at weddings, it makes them lighthearted and fun, and there's nothing cuter than a little kid in a suit. The problems come when kids are out of control at other people's events, or when people show up with kids when a bride and groom explicitly request that there not be any children.

First things first, if a couple has asked that you not bring your children, please don't be an asshole and bring them. That just sucks. Everyone has the right to have the mood of their own wedding be whatever they want it to be. I went to a wedding that specifically asked that no kids attend, and not only did a couple bring their baby, but the baby screamed throughout the entire ceremony and the parents didn't take him out of the church or even attempt to appease him. It was a nightmare.

Yes, it can be a pain in the ass to figure out what to do with your kid, but that's your problem, not theirs. That said, hopefully your friends aren't jerks and will help you find childcare, especially if you're going to a destination wedding where you don't have an established babysitter. In general, if you are in a new town and you didn't travel with a babysitter or grandparent to help with the kids, you can call the hotel where you are staying and ask if they have a list of vetted sitters that they recommend to their guests. Many hotels even have babysitters as part of their staff. Does it suck to leave your kids with a stranger? Yep, totally. But it's definitely possible to find someone who is qualified in the area. You can also give Care.com a browse and see if you find anyone who looks good to you and strike up a correspondence. If it's worth it to you to attend a wedding of someone who doesn't want kids at their event, then there are definitely ways for you to get a sitter.

If your kids are invited to the wedding, it's important to remember that it doesn't mean they can take over the whole wedding and run around screaming the entire time. Again, these are things that you think don't need to be said, and yet it happens time and time again. If they start acting up during the ceremony, quickly get up and step out with them so they don't disturb anyone. So, common sense calls for sitting in an aisle seat near the back for your quick escape. Packing some coloring supplies to keep kids busy during the long dinner hour is recommended, and make sure they leave before there is a night time meltdown on the dance floor.

Nothing is cuter than little kids at a wedding, so just make sure you're not too busy getting toasty to remember that the last thing you want is for your kids to be disruptive.  A little thoughtfulness goes a long way!